attachment theory

Learned something interesting in my Lifespan class today about attachment. So some researchers did a study where they observed baby monkeys’ behavior and categorized them into groups based on personality characteristics – shy and timid or bold and outgoing. They they took note of the type of attachment pattern the babies had with their mothers. Turns out that most shy babies tended to have mothers that were protective and anxious, while the bolder babies had mothers who were relaxed but available. The researchers deduced that the babies’ personalities were largely inherited rather than learned, because they showed these behavior patterns even within the first week of life, before it would be possible to learn them from their mother. With the assumption in mind that personality (at least for these monkeys) was genetic, they set out to test whether the baby monkeys’ personalities could be shaped by raising them with a mother that displayed a parenting style opposite from their biological mother. In other words, they paired infants that were shy with mothers that were relaxed, and bold infants with mothers that were uptight. What they found then is what is so interesting to me:

The monkeys that displayed profound anxiety and shyness as infants grew up to be fairly bold when paired with a relaxed mother. Even more interesting is that, while they became bolder and more curious when their foster mother was around, they tended to revert back to their inherently shy personality when separated from the mother.

This suggests that personality can be shaped over time, but is largely inherited and thus predisposes them to display inherent personality characteristics when in stressful situations. They don’t know if this can be directly applied to humans because obviously we are much more complex and affected by an infinite number of factors, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

 

 

it made sense at the time

I feel like most people wish they were strong-willed and resilient. Who wouldn’t want to say they know exactly what they want out of life and when they set out to do it, it gets done every time and never changes in the process. I think the reality is that, while there are certainly people in the world that are more strong-willed than others, most of us have pretty regular moments of indecisiveness. In fact, I’d say more often than not, we’re affected by the weight and complexity of the world, and we let it get to us. We become overwhelmed with impending decisions, persuasive family/friends/media, and the general relativity of our life situations.

But you know what? I don’t think that has to be a bad thing. I think our inability to stick to a decision (most of the time) is a reflection of our ability to reason. Millions of years of development has brought us to this point, where we can willingly assess our environment and act upon it. But because the environment changes, so do our actions  or decisions. In addition, we are creatures who are uniquely aware of the future and our capability to change it. I think that’s another reason we have a hard time sticking to anything – we know every decision we make affects our future, so we’re a little more wary of the quick  and concrete.

The inevitable process of “growing up” is what prompted me to wonder why we are this way. Leaving my comfort bubble and joining the rest of the world is equally exciting and terrifying. I know my future is the topic of just about every recent post of mine, but what else do I know, really? All I know in life is what I’ve experienced what I’m experiencing right now, and what I anticipate experiencing in the future, and all of those things collectively seem to focus on this question: WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?

To put my perspective in more understandable terms (because now I’m starting to confuse myself..), I’m trying to decide what academic path I want to take, which in turn will determine where I live, which will determine where I work – minor details (sarcasm). I have found myself stuck in this endless cycle of trying to choose between School Psychology, School Counseling, and Community Counseling. To most people those probably seem synonymous. I wish. They’re all very different and involve totally different programs and degrees. As soon as I think I’ve decided (for good this time!), I go and change my mind. I’ve done countless hours of research about each field and I just feel stuck. I don’t have the time to seek out the professionals and get their expert opinion, because I need to decide on this like 2 weeks ago. I know I’ll figure it out eventually. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just try and ride it out, and maybe even try to appreciate the power I have over my own future..

nonmarital sexuality

This table comes from my Psychology of Religion book by Hood, Hill, and Spilka.

I think what’s interesting about this study is how the “nonaffiliated” group compares to the religious groups. I wonder if the “nonaffiliated” people would be representative of the general population on average?

operational definitions

Religious ideas have arisen from the same need as have all the other achievements of civilization: from the necessity of defending oneself against the crushingly superior force of nature…

- Sigmund Freud

Freud was one of a long legacy of influential figures who have discounted religion as illusion, fraud, or fiction. Based on this quote, I would assume that he believed religion is simply a clever derivative of our instinct for self-preservation. We have this innate need to protect ourselves, so we contrived this convenient explanation that we call religion. Many questions about our existence can be answered with religion, and those that cannot be answered directly are explained away with terms like “faith” or “karma” or “divine will”. When we have a way to explain uncontrollable phenomena like death or natural disasters, we feel safe. I agree with that idea to a certain extent. I think it’s human nature to seek meaning and understanding of the world around us, and when we can’t find it, we find a way to explain it. The problem I have with the above quote, then, is that it assumes that the “superior force of nature” is purely corporeal. I think nature is God, and God is nature. God’s force is indeed superior, and we do tend to try and find ways to defend ourselves from it. This is why people become Christians – to defend themselves from what they believe is inevitable damnation unless they accept Christ as their savior. So in other words, I think there is some truth to Freud’s statement, but I also don’t think it necessarily reinforces his assumption that religion is an illusion.

tomorrow if a golden train came to take you away…

Thought of the day:

People change their minds because they cannot change outcomes.

That idea was brought up during my Psychology of Religion class the other day (which, by the way, might be one of like five classes total that I’ve really enjoyed at Baylor.. how sad). It suggests that people have a tendency to accommodate their values or beliefs in response to their situation, particularly when they cannot change their situation themselves. For example, a person may shift from believing in intercessory prayer to not believing in it after many fervent prayers went unanswered. Instead of continuing to try and change the outcome, they decided to change their set of beliefs. Or as another example, a person might begin believing that every event is part of God’s plan when they didn’t before because no matter what they do, every event in their life goes unexpectedly and in a way that is out of their hands. In a non-religious context, an example might be when a person faced with a terminal illness changes their mind about being resuscitated. Once they realize they can’t change the outcome of their situation (inevitable death), they may go from believing that doctors should keep patients alive by any means necessary to believing that when a patient approaches death, then it is their time to go.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this necessarily. I mean it seems natural that we experience life as it comes, and accommodate our beliefs accordingly. To take the idea even further, though, it was also suggested in class that behavior precedes belief. Whereas the earlier quote implies that we adjust our cognitive mindset according to external events, this notion implies that we adjust our cognitive mindset based on our own behavior. In other words, we behave a certain way, and if that works for us, then we adopt that belief even if it’s contrary to what we believed before. Something to think about anyway.

modern-day sexism

A word of advice: if you are a female and are in need of a service of some kind (car repair, internet hookup, CELL PHONE), make sure you have a guy with you. Until recently, I was fully convinced that in our day and age, women had a relatively equal place in society as men. Though we still don’t make quite as much money as men on average, we are at the very least making some kind of progress. A female can obtain a respectable college degree, land a well-paying, high-power job, and basically live her life as she pleases with noticeably more ease than she could have, say, 30 years ago. We’ve come a long way, and I appreciate that.

However, it seems to me that possessing the ability to climb the proverbial career ladder does not imply that women are held in the same general regard as are men. The more I think about it, the more I realize that men really are not graciously allowing us to pass them by on the ladder of success. Rather, they are obligated by law (thanks to many years and thousands of women who fought for their rights) to do so. I think that for the most part, they are grudgingly and reluctantly making room on their rung so that we can move up. I think that this fact is directly associated with the generally negative attitude toward women. Women (like racial minorities, homosexuals, etc.) have stepped on the toes of the 40-60 year old white man, and in return, we are treated with partiality stemming from bitterness.

I realize this is quite a generalization, and I know this doesn’t apply to all men. But I, as a young female, have encountered more than one situation in my life that supports this idea. Case in point: my Sprint plan. Let me set the stage for you..

Several years ago, my mom set up a Sprint account for herself, my sister Julianne, and me. We used that account for a few years without a problem, upgraded a couple times, got what we needed. When we moved here to Colorado, my dad’s new job gave him a plan from AT&T, on which he got himself and my other sister Brooke new phones. At this point, we were paying for two separate plans for two separate companies. Needless to say, this was very expensive. It made much more sense to cancel me and Julianne’s Sprint plan and add two lines to my dad’s AT&T plan. For a while though, we just avoided that because (as I’m sure everyone’s dealt with at some point) cancellation fees of $150 make it almost not worth it. Then our circumstances changed and the holder of our Sprint account was no longer alive, allowing us to supposedly cancel our account with no fees. So, Julianne made a phone call letting Spring know our situation, they said they’d cancel the account and send an email confirmation in 3-5 days. Works for me. 3-5 days passes, no email, so Julianne calls again. 3-5 more days they say. Oook… what can you do? 5 days later, still nothing. She calls again, and then again, and then again. By that time, she had called 4 or 5 times, each time being promised the account would be cancelled in 3-5 days. We had also faxed them our information, twice, just to be sure they had it all there. So today at lunch, my dad asks us about our account. We explain to him the events of the past few weeks, and of course he gets upset because he is the one paying for it. I tell him we’ve done everything in our power to get the stupid thing canceled, and that we don’t know what else to do. So my dad the former-lawyer calls them up right then and there. He pushes a few numbers, connects to a customer service rep, uses his stern-but-not-quite-yelling lawyer voice, and 10 MINUTES LATER THE ACCOUNT IS CANCELLED! What the hell?! Is it because he had information that we did not? No. Did he ask for a supervisor and threaten to call the Better Business Bureau and get someone fired? No (Though he did suggest that to us as an idea for future reference). Does he have the authoritative voice of a man? YES. Never again will I scoff at a young girl who is not getting what she wants with a salesperson and whips our her cell phone and says “Daddy? I need your help.” It works. Men get what they want because they are men. They are looked at as more powerful, forward, outspoken, and prone to taking action if he doesn’t get his way. Even if that were true – which it is so, so not – there is still no reason for women, young women in particular, to be discriminated against because they’re assumed to be pushovers.

And you know what? That’s not the only occasion. I can think of 3 other instances (involving a car mechanic, a realtor, and a police officer) just off the top of my head where I’ve been cheated or taken advantage of, and I GUARANTEE the same thing would not have happened to a man. DRIVES ME CRAZY.

what to do?

A couple weeks ago the family and myself had dinner with Karen, her family, and the Wises (during which we had the most fabulous mojitos known to man). Shortly after meeting Mrs. Wise, she proceeded to spend about 25 minutes trying to convince me to become a nurse. At first I just humored her by playing along: “Oh yeah, no problem. Let me just go ahead and change major – again – months before my junior year.” But then I got to thinking (red flag number one). If I graduate with a bachelor’s in Psychology like I currently intend to do, I cannot work in the Psychology field without first getting at least a Master’s. I knew this when I chose Psych in the first place. Not a problem. The thing is though, even with a PhD and my own private practice, a typical annual salary is usually anywhere between $50,000 and $70,000. On a good day. With only a Master’s it’s even less. Now nursing jobs on the other hand require far less schooling and for a better pay. With an associate’s (ADN) or bachelor’s (BSN) degree alone, both of which qualify you as a registered nurse (RN), average yearly salary is around $52,000. If you go on to get a master’s (MSN), with which you can become a Nurse Practitioner (NP), a Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA), and others, salaries reach between $70,000 and $110,000.

Needless to say, the shortage of nurses makes it a lot easier to make good money while spending less time getting there. Not that money is everything, but it certainly makes life easier. And if I can go to the same amount of school for the same cost and get paid more in the end, I’ll do it.

The problem is, I’m already halfway through with my Psych degree. Plus, I am dead-set on going to Maastricht next summer, which means I have a very strict degree plan already mapped out. That said, if I were really serious about going the nursing route, I can do one of two things.

A) I can change my major to nursing immediately. However, that would mean spending an extra year or so catching up on the pre-requisites I need before I can go to Baylor’s nursing school in Dallas. It also means I’d lose a lot of my scholarship for Maastricht because of some of the stipulations on that funding. Without that money, I probably couldn’t afford to go, which is not an option.

B) I can prepare for what is called an Accelerated BSN Program, which allows individuals who already have a Bachelor’s in something other than nursing to earn a BSN in only a year of rigorous coursework. The problem here is that I’d most likely have to spend an extra semester at Baylor taking pre-reqs for the Accelerated Program, thus again losing Maastricht scholarship money. Not to mention the Accelerated BSN is a whole additional year on top of my Psych degree, which would be time consuming and expensive. There’s a small chance that I could rework my current schedule to fit in all my pre-reqs, but I haven’t looked into it enough yet. But if I could do that, then I could graduate from Baylor a semester early, spend a year in the Accelerated Program, another couple years getting a CRNA, and then be able to pay off all my loans in a few years.

Goodness! I don’t know what to do..